I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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