Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
