Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
