My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
