You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
