did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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