She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
