Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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