I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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