O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
