Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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