You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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