I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
