Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
