Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
