Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
