I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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