Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
