We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize