he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
