do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
