and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
