butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
