I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Randomize
