Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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