yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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