So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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