that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
