I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
