you're like a bully in the Christmas story
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're a waste of cheezeits
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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