i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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