At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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