end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
