she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
