***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
