the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we made out on top of his cat.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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