ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
FUCK WHALES
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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