I have demons in me.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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