I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
