i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize