Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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