Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize