what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
