I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
