My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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