i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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