I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
