NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
