There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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