Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
