It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize