you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
