so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
