This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
