How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
