i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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