i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
