I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
