I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
