So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
