My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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