Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
