Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
