I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he thought i was a dude.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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